This is me, twenty one years old. I may look back on my youth one day and wonder what my life had meant, what values I held and the dreams and aspirations that were the core of my being, the strength that propelled me forward, attached to the love of family and dear friends. So I give this message to myself and hope that I shall carry it with me during my lifetime and inspire myself to stay true to the child that lives inside.
Twenty one years is a flicker in time, wading away in a pool of emotions and love. Memories all flashing by like the turning pages of hundreds of photo albums. Words captured and realised, felt and misspelled. Creativity lifting the spirit and the black dog isolating the world. Happiness and sadness, the greatest trust and a broken sorrow all flickering like moths searching for light.
I see this world in all its form. The darker days linger in blood soaked ink in the pages of history, while the strong and proud, the pure of heart roam free. Sometimes unseen in the littlest detail but to the individual of mind, they shine vibrantly in a form too beautiful for words and only supported by tears.
I grow, but I do not let go to the innocence, the ability to dream with a child’s mind. The searching for my own truth, my own understanding of all around me. Not to be swayed or influenced, to dream with my own ideals, to speak my mind and try not to let fear burn my own individuality. I search to find the courage and strength to follow my dreams and dip my toes into my interests that seem so distant and unsure.
I feel proud to have been given gifts that allow me to express myself in a way that lets go of my thoughts locked inside my wondering mind. Always moving in motion and open for so much more. For knowing the direction I want my life to go and for the focus that circulates around my dream. Even when my body slows or may not be perfect in my eyes, I can drift away to a place that is my own.
For my future I can only hope that it shall become everything that I wish for. I am worthy of having the things I desire and letting my imagination run wild. I hope that when I read this again or when the hands of time have turned I embrace the life that could be mine.
Love from Kassandra.
Written on the 11th of March 2008, My Birthday.
(Weirdly enough I started writing this and I have finished it a few minutes shy of the exact time I was born. Strange how these things happen without you realising. I guess it was meant to be.)