A Star Has Fallen.

The loss of a young star is always so very saddening. Not only for all the dreams and aspirations they had yet to live but the family and loved ones they leave behind. I am still so shocked and upset by the sudden death of actor Heath Ledger, I sit here now still shaking my head and wondering how and why.

I have noticed that a great deal of people who feel the loss relate it to someone else. For me it was Michael Hutchence another friend Jeff Buckley and numerous posts and news reports about River Phoenix, Brandon Lee and even Marilyn Monroe. They all cast a shadow across this world, leaving it to early but will always be immortalised, displaying their talents in a time capsule of creativity and beauty. But you can’t help but wonder and have a miss guided hope that they are not gone, they are going to be with us again, acting or singing or transforming the world. But they won’t be able to. Only the legacy and memories they have left behind can ever be restored.

Heath was not my favourite actor in the whole world, but I did have respect for his work and am proud to support any Australian talent making it big in the world. It just upsets me so very much because I didn’t see it coming, like so many others. I can not begin to imagine how I would feel if it was my favourite actor: Gary, Ryan or Zach. But for some people Heath was their Gary and for his family their everything. I can only hope the moments they shared in life were the happiest they could ever dream for and that they always shared a special bond.

Heath will be forever missed.

Oh My Shovelling Shoes.

My Nanna was taken to Hospital on Thursday night, she has problems with her bowel and while that is getting resolved her dementia has flared up like it does when she has gone into hospital before. It’s very upsetting trying to calm someone down who doesn’t understand what is happening around them. She has been getting a lot worse lately and sadly she may not come home. I can understand the logic behind that, we don’t want her to hurt herself, it’s just the idea seems so alien and upsetting. I want to sit down and cry and stamp my feet and make it not happen, but nothing I do can change the clock turning of life, I can only appreciate what I have right now. However hard it is to see.

I had a dream Mum and I were making a path but we were burying a lot of old shoes under it. Firstly I seen one and thought it was bodies but lifted a tarp up to see it was shoes and started laughing. Once we were happy with our efforts we returned inside and it was a bit of an X-men deal going on with a touch of Heroes class. I had an ‘ice’ power and it was starting to go off uncontrollably (!) and someone was in the house who had a fire one (!) so they showed me some heat and I was all better, while Professor Charles Xavier stood behind me and smiled (What happened to the chair, maybe it was all ‘mental’?). Then I happened to notice this giant medieval contraption hanging on the wall, it was all made out of metal so perhaps Magneto had something to do with the whole thing. Anyway, it was beginning to fall down or try to kill us and I somehow managed to be hanging on a ledge and it was about to crush me. Jean Grey appears and has this hook rope, runs at me slams it with all the force she can muster into the ledge, it gets stuck and we hang on for dear life as this thing hurdles past us. It was so very impressive and just like a scene from the movies. Those familiar with my blog or me know I dream in great detail and this was no exception, I just don’t feel like describing everything.

I have been spending a lot of time on Gaia again. But honestly I have been feeling terdelated and on most occasions it makes me happy. Yes, pixels make me happy. I managed to get a great deal of the items I wanted and this time I didn’t take any chances or do anything the ‘wrong way’.

I have also been missing Witchypoo like crazy. Gary Oldman is god and Zachary Quinto is adorable. Let us not forget Ryan Gosling, I watched Fracture last night cool movie. It was hard to take notice with my constant thoughts of ‘Ry I love you’. But I managed to follow most of the story. :)

So, what’s your I.Q?

I have always felt so very strongly that people should not be organised with a number and told how good they are while being valued by a score. I.Q tests in there current form, really annoy me. It is no secret that I am not academically minded, my maths is something to be ashamed of and that I have over the years struggled to learn things the ‘normal way’ but the thing is, sometimes you find people that think, act and are in general, just different.

I watched this very interesting show and how a few ‘rouge’ professors and in my opinion the future brains of our world want to radically change the way I.Q tests are constructed. They understand that people can have intelligence in different forms and there is not one set structure. It is true that some people may have a mind that covers a wide variety of fields and this makes them incredibly developed. You might have a creative intelligence, an emotional or intuitive intelligence as well as an array of others and I think this should certainly be nurtured. I couldn’t imagine how many people have taken an I.Q test, got a low or average score suspected they are dumb when they are not and wasted what could have been a prosperous life.

I am certainly not saying I believe I am a genius. I would be the first to admit I am not the smartest, but I don’t believe I am stupid. I feel like I understand things in a way that is complex and hard to explain. Like life is this ball spinning in circles and I am standing far a way watching and observing it and able to place my hand and withdraw knowledge from its core and it will flow freely into my being.

For people who are similar to me, it can be a rough journey trying to figure out what you can do because you have a system that does not have faith in you, doesn’t understand or appreciate the level of intelligence you do hold. I hate to see any creative energy wasted and I hope the future will allow us to understand people and not be so judgemental on them when they have a chance and most of all see people as they are; a living and breathing soul with ability to make a divine mark.

What do you call this?

Welcome 2008 I see you are here and you seem to have brought me something new. For the first time in forever, my nails are actually growing and I have not had the erge to bite them. Weird. I think perhaps it may be the aliens.

As you may be able to see I have changed the look and feel of the site. It took me a while to come up with a theme I really liked, and this is good enough. I went through the whole Me section and revamped everything, so have a browse if you like. :) I have also added a collection of my movies, because I finally added them all into the database. You can view the list here but watch out, I own 940 Arrrrh wtf mate.

I’m reading a book called Court In The Middle by Andrew Fraser. It would show up on Shelfari if it was in their database, but it’s not that popular but I have to say I am really liking it. Something about biographies that deal with crime and those that have been knocked by the Prison System. This book is about a lawyer (Andrew) who won many big cases and his life became involved with the high fliers and drugs were introduced, he then went on a downward spiral and ended up in jail and because of his status and cases he had pursued in the past he was treated ‘unfairly’. It also shines a light on the state of the Prison System and how lives can really change. If you are into that type of thing, I would defiantly recommend it.

Okay, I’m all good now. :D

Another Year Over.

It’s the last day of the year and I find it hard to believe for some reason. It only seems like yesterday that it was the last day of 2006 and a whole year has been misplaced. But it wasn’t a silent year, this 2007. There was a number of events that both warmed (Nicole coming to visit) and broke (Witchypoo going missing) my heart. It’s funny to look back on a year and think of everything that has happened, the trials and tribulations you have been through, the successes and the failours, the loves and the losses, and then to sum up if it was a good year or a bad one.

For me, this year has probably been a powerful learning curb. I have tried a number of things and had the door to them closed, by my own mistakes or lack of self motivation and drive. It has allowed me to open my mind more, when it has been closed for such a long time and have hope in the dreams that are to come, but still lack the confidence to reach for them with all the strength I can muster. It has also been plagued by a grey cloud, hovering through my emotions and slumping me down into a place of black, but not winning the battle every time.

I have made new friendships and reconnected with old ones that had been lost or broken. I have strengthened the bond of those I hold already and shared great moments of happiness, silliness and a childish thirst for life. With a serious side parked next to moments of sadness that have rained down.

I have a feeling 2008 may bring with it many opportunities that had not been handed to me before, but I also feel it has the potential for big changes that will fall into my life. I just hope that when the time comes my mind will not refuse and try to squirm and rebel against the path of life that leads to the front door of my own desires. You can’t hide from what you want, and if you do then everything you wanted passes you by and only yourself can be blamed.

I hope 2008 will be a great year for everyone and I also hope all had a nice Christmas. I did. It was lovely and quiet and just spent with the family that means everything to me.

Randomness:
1. Dad and I will be playing the big match of cricket that has been a tradition for over ten years today, wish Dad luck, he will need it bwhaah.

2. I had a dream last night that J.K Rowling came out and said her latest novels had been published. It was not about Harry Potter but a new work of fiction about something serious. Three books and the title started with G, but I can’t remember what it was called. :(

3. Sylar and Zachary Quinto (they are the same person.. do I know this myself?) are so hot right now. Zach is coming to Australia in may, oh boy. I will regret it forever if I don’t go. Must. Control. The. Crazy. Fangirl. Inside. P:

Okay, I’m all good now. :D