Bye Bye 2014!
A new year is almost here and that brings 2014 to a close. This year was a strange one. I lost two animals (Tigger & Flapper), started free hosting again, created two new blogs (Cute Magic & Why Blue) and tried not to push myself mentally.
In 2015 I would like to:
- Make a plan for the future
- Seek support for mental health
- Finish children’s book
- Relearn website design
- Make a theme for my blog
- Exercise & eat better
- Stop drinking as much soda/pop
- Stop smoking as much
Dad and I will be playing our annual game of cricket in the afternoon (when it cools down). We have been playing this for so long (16+ years I think). Today I was thinking it will be really sad when one day he is not here to play it with me. I am lucky that he is, especially after he had cancer twice.
I hope 2015 will be a great year for everyone.
There have been a lot of things going on recently. Most of them have been ‘dsjdkhiuhasdajkh DOOM’ but there have also been a few good things too.
I have had ear trouble for the last five months. It started as an ear infection, then turned into something that the last four doctors don’t know what it is (yay). So I have to wait until November to see a specialist. At least twice a month if gets so much pressure/throbbing and builds up with fluid and really hurts. After a while it kind of leaks out. Ew.
My mum went on holiday for two weeks so I had some time to myself. I did miss her, so it was nice to see her when she got back.
My dear cat Tigger who was around 17 passed away. She got very ill and was at the vet for a week. It was first thought she had an infection, but it looks more likely it was some form of bowel cancer. The vet suggested we have her put down, but we couldn’t do it. I wish we had of done that now, because her death was very hard.
My dads bird Flapper (who was around 5) also passed away. I am not sure what happened, but he suddenly got very quiet. We brought him inside the day before he died, I checked on him a lot. But he passed away while I was not with him (I don’t like anything to be alone if it is going to pass) so that was sad.
I have made some progress on my ‘mental health battle’. I was able to speak with a health professional who actually listened and seemed to care. So I have a start, in hopefully a good direction.
Kate sent me some lovely gifts, a cute owl friend and a lovely candle that smells really nice. The card was also wonderful! (Image of these under the cut.) THANK YOU!
See ya 2013
Another year is almost over and 2014 is knocking on our doors! Hopefully it can be a year where we all welcome the visitor, who will bring many positive gifts.
For me, 2013 was a kind of a difficult year. Not as traumatic as 2012 was, but it was still hard. I faced a lot of challenges with mental health, lost a friend to suicide, lost my dear grandparents dog and lived in a numb daze a lot of the time. However, I was lucky in that I had my parents there for me and two good
noodles friends named Nicole and Claire who put up with my craziness and for some strange reason still wanted to be friends. Siriusly Seriously though, they really helped me in so many ways and inspired to give me hope.
What do I want for 2014? I mainly hope that I can settle and try to find stability. I don’t want to make major plans for the future until I am at a place where I am thinking clearly and can handle all that goes with major decisions (take 2012, where I thought my only option was to start a business). I hope that I will reach out for help and keep striving to get to a good place while also still working on creative projects and sharing love with the people I care about.
Now for some kind of random things.
At the moment I feel like there is a black shadow following me around. I am unable to concentrate and feel numb. This hasn’t just hit me out of nowhere and rather then go into everything I will simply list the negative and positive things that have been happening in my life at the moment.
- My grandfather has been very ill and has been in hospital for several weeks. He almost died several times and he is stable at the moment but his health is not improving. This opens up the question of care in a home. My mother and I dread the though of having to do this to him, but on the same token he is 24 hour high care and because he is so ill, can we cope if he was in his own house?
- My oldest cat Pocket almost died last week. She was choking with fluid on her lungs. Mum got the fluid off her lungs, but the vet told us after giving her a scan that she has cancer and has a very large tumor. She has a lot of trouble breathing and she is on medication to help, it just hurts to see her so unwell.
- I have a bladder infection which is driving me crazy.
- My great uncle I adore had a heart attack.
- One of my birds, Poodle died.
- My fortnightly money I received from the government was cancelled because I forgot some paperwork.
- I received a $500 phone bill and doesn’t make sense.
- Because I have no money coming in now I am stressing about what to do.
- I am at home.
- I can sleep in.
I wish I didn’t have so much negative energy swirling around me. I know that my outlook and depressed attitude can make things seem even worse. I will try and focus on my designs and photography to take my mind into a productive and hopefully positive direction.
Today I am 24, very strange. I had originally planned to write a post on reflections and what I plan to do in the next year before turning 25 (mainly to do with pushing myself to do the things I have always wanted) but I don’t feel like it right now. Next update I’ll see how I go.
I was having a good day, received so many messages (amazing, thank you ALL!) but found out in the afternoon that Dad was in hospital and had been since 7am. *sigh* So that has made things a bit blah. I hope he will be okay.
I do have cupcakes! Everything is okay with cupcakes. x:cupcakestraw: x:cupcakechoc: