Wow, November is already here. That means Christmas is almost here and I need to think about what design to make for holiday inspired cards. I think I might create two designs. One cute and the other a little bit simple/indie/hipster/pretty/girly (is that a thing?). I also must have these printed not the week before Christmas….
Another cool thing happened. The photograph I entered into the competition on deviantART was selected as one of the semi-finalists! I am really chuffed that I did make the semi-finalist list. I don’t think I will place in the top three, but that doesn’t matter because being a semi-finalist is a big honour to me. It was also one of the few times I have tried to enter a creative competition, maybe I should look for more photography competitions either local or Australian wide?
If you like to write, November also means something a little special. National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Write 50,000 words in one month and have yourself a novel! I have been trying at this for years and have never reached the 50,000 word mark, but it has been good (and sometimes frustrating) as a creative challenge. If you are also taking part you can follow my profile kyabean.
Lastly, my friend Claire created a blog. ALL THE STALKS? ;D
The following short story is recommended for a mature audience only.
I sat in the strange little box and waited. This was my parents idea because I was not the ideal child they had always dreamed me to be, the perfect reflection of themselves, gleaming with awards and trophies, stepping towards my career as a doctor or lawyer. Instead, to them I was in the gutter, slinking towards a future at McDonald’s if I was lucky.
“What are your troubles my child” a voice said through a thatched divider in another small box. I was not religious and the fact that I was being forced into confession seemed highly contradictory. It seemed so cliché that the youth in trouble is thrust towards the religious saviour, that God or a divine light is going to fix all the problems, and possibly take away my hormones.
“Well, I guess to put it very plainly, I had sex.”
I could hear the voice contemplating what was the right thing to say, and I was trying very hard to hold back growls of laughter, realising this would be more embarrassing for him, really.
“Go on” he finally said in a wavering tone.
“I guess it wasn’t just the fact that I had sex, it was due to the fact that it was at school and someone caught us and filmed it. Then after the whole school had seen it, so did the staff, the principle and then it was reported to my parents, which I really hope they didn’t watch.”
I wasn’t sure at the reaction I would get, but he gasped, literally. Maybe he had a photographic memory and it was the mental image that scared him the most. It wasn’t something that I was proud of, who wants to have their private moments broadcast to everyone you know, I guess if you have a career in the pornography industry that is different. It could have been my ticket into that world, but I did not want to, and although I wasn’t wishing I could take back what happened I was still embarrassed. Maybe it was the constant yelling of my mother telling me I was filthy and unclean and was going to burn in hell.
I sat in silence in the small little box. Not sure what I was supposed to say, and if he was still even there or had died of shock.
“Why?” was all he said.
“Because I wanted too. Haven’t you ever felt a desire, okay maybe a bad example. Haven’t you ever really wanted to or felt compelled to do something?”
“Young lady, there are things in life that God grants us, and there are those gifts that we should wait for and savour.”
I thought about this for a while. If I did not believe in God then how could the normal rules apply. Especially when I looked at the human race as beings in a constant search for pleasure and fun. I guess I should just get this over with quickly and drop the big bomb.
“I was pregnant as well, and had to have an abortion. My parents don’t know that part, but I guess they fear something like that could have happened and want me to be cleaned, cleansed and sins forgiven, do you think that could be done, at least just for their peace of mind?”
I heard the door to the little box open, I was sitting alone in my own little world. Just me and God, no middle man to receive the transmission.
I finally feel as if things are starting to settle into some form of normalcy and I am starting to get excited about the future. Today has been one of those good days where I have been able to accomplish a lot and start to see the future is not so dark, I can generate fire to shine my way.
Today I: Replied to emails on Bubble, replied to support tickets on Bubble, processed applications on Bubble, listed numerous domains on Namecheap for sale to have more finance for Bubble, replied to messages on Pop, enrolled in my next unit for University and received a reply from a photographer I know and admire who likes my photographs and wants me to share my personal favorites of my own photos with him and he will give me his opinion (I am really excited about this!! 3_3 ).
Yesterday I also asked a family member if I could have a loan (they said yes, woo). I don’t believe I have mentioned this on my blog yet, but I plan to start a business. I have been madly researching the ins and outs of creating one and it is a complicated process. However, I feel that it is something that is going to be a really good direction for me, and will allow me to flourish in both design and hosting (hopefully). I still have to work out a business name and how Bubble will be incorporated into it, or if it will remain a stand alone project *pondering*.
I have also been continuing with my work on my children’s book, and plan on having another blog update soon on my process with this.
I have been wanting to write a book for over ten years and I will admit that I am disappointed that I haven’t made a huge amount of effort in that time to make it a reality. I am going to change that. I found that previously I always had an excuse for why I hadn’t worked on it; lack of inspiration, needing to practice more, scared of how to actually go about doing it, etc. I could continue to create a million more reasons to block myself, but if I want to really following my dream of being published again and having my own book it’s time to be serious.
I am creating a children’s book. It has two primary characters a boy and his toy giraffe. The book explores how we use imagination and how as we get older we also loose it. Rather then create just a simple story that is light and fluffy I want to try and create something that has a deeper voice, perhaps with a greater moral visibility.
So far in the process I have created the first written draft of the structure of the story as well as began creating the rough ideas for what the boy character will look like. Once I have created several more drafts I will then began setting out the style of the book and organising for an ISBN and publication. There will certainly be a physical book but I am considering an eBook version as well, which I would have to research into a bit to find out the structure (but will not use excuses).
I am excited about this because I am finally allowing myself to move forward.
Have you ever created your own book?
Have you ever wanted to create a book but been confused as well?
I am currently studying intimacy and dating on the internet. While my University work requires that I think about this topic critically, I wanted to post on my blog a creative response to this via poetry!
Meet me on the Internet Cafe
Look at us out there existing
two souls tangled
between virtual woe
can we converse, trust
backup the tale we have sold
Will our true personality
become a placement
for more intimate feelings to devolve
Are we absent again
in this man made universe
everything we have owned
Is there a time limit on reflections
archived, rewritten or saved
does my digital shadow follow me
or like Peter Pan’s become displaced
Distance is no enemy
compressed to 1s and 0s
everything a cell
living, breathing, alone
Can we commute again
with confidence and decorum
will my status be updated
to lease or for hire
will I be again walking
on this expanding
Me and blogging have been on a major-fail relationship at the moment. I have been busy with caring, getting used to Mac, working on websites for people on a semi professional level and trying to keep up with everything. School starts soon and I am excited about this and a little nervous but that is probably good.
NaNoWriMo…… I wrote 500 words, since then little else has arrived. Whoops. Another year, another BOING. It’s not over yet…. :P
Little bird, little bird
What are you trying to say
Are your wings tied
Your feet tangled
In a mess of gloomy grey.
Little bird, little bird
What song are you trying to sing
Does it have lyrics
Or is it a wordless hymn.
Little bird, little bird
Why do you fly away
Will I see you again
My window is open
Waiting for that day.
For Writing Sunday I will be writing a poem inspired by the image below that was found using the search word Artist on istockphoto.com! I need to write more, I annoy myself that I love it so much, yet do so little. The less I do, the worse I become with using language. *kickstarts the pen*
I am the artist
the one who observes the world.
I remain hidden
misunderstood and obscured.
Is there fate in darkness
under the veil of a wicked spell
tormented, beaten and skinned.
Has my mask fallen
who is waiting inside
the figure does not matter
to these blind eyes?
If anyone has been following me on twitter or live Journal you will probably know that the last few days have been pretty hard for me. My Poppy had a fall and was taken into Hospital. The Hospital kept doing everything wrong and sent him home again. He is improving, but let me tell you I have been sleeping very little and had so much worry loaded on my mind I will be happy when I can settle down a bit. I have stayed with him these past several nights, because I have to make sure he is alright. I felt terribly guilty that he fell the night I was home having a break. Always the way isn’t it?
I feel strangely out of touch at the moment. Like I am forgetting everything and floating along invisibly. I know that is not true in part. I think I do need to find some way to bring happiness in after so much tragedy and stress this year. It has been another one. I guess that happens for most people and when you are caring for elderly people you have to expect it on some level. The emotional tremor is like a whip or razors.
Nanowrimo started again. I just don’t feel up to it right now. Maybe I will feel inspired again during the month, but it’s not looking too good. Another year, another fail. x|